Rebound: Jordan Nurney (w/Tim Miller)

Dr. Tim Miller hosts another episode of the Rebound podcast with Jordan Nurney, a first-semester graduate student who completed her undergrad from JMU in December 2021 as a history major! Jordan also made a recent appearance on the Today Show with Brene Brown! Hear how Jordan struggled with her academics and social connections as a transfer student to JMU, and how her mother and Colleen Waller in the University Career Center at JMU helped her to reframe her situation and make some valuable connections with some of her professors. Jordan discusses how she learned to treat herself with the love and care that she deserves . Thanks for sharing your story, Jordan!

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Full episode transcription: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L-MOxayRh23tcKPGCSHG8N9epIAlqeubJDAXQVnUhNg/edit?usp=sharing

Transcript

Dr. Tim Miller

Welcome, everyone, back to the Rebound podcast. I'm Dr. Tim Miller, and today I'm so excited to have Jordan Nurney with us. Jordan, I'm gonna ask you to introduce yourself. But I also want you to talk a little bit about your latest stint on the Today Show as part of your introduction. 

Jordan Nurney

So as Dr. Miller said, my name is Jordan Nurney. I am a first semester graduate student at JMU. I graduated in December 2021, with my Bachelor's in history, and now in working on my Master's in teaching to become a middle school or high school, social studies teacher. And as you said, I made a cameo on the Today Show. If you know Dr. Miller, you know he likes Brené Brown, as do I, I won't say like we are quite obsessed with her. She is just a wonderful human. So when I found out she was going to be on the Today Show, and they were looking for people to submit questions, I just like, didn't think anything of it, went on with my life... And then got an email a week later, from a producer asking if he could call me because they loved my question and wanted to air on national television and wanted to give me directions on how it would air on TV!

Dr. Tim Miller

Love it. And what we may do is when we post your podcast, maybe we'll put a link to see we can find a link to that that we can share. So, Jordan, let's go a little deeper into your story. I know you're a transfer student, I know you've been here and during a pandemic. So I wanted to first… let's start there, like, talk to us about sort of your journey at JMU. What are the highlights, the challenges, all that. Let's let's start big, and then we'll dive into some of the different pieces from there.

Jordan Nurney

Yeah, so I am a transfer student, I transferred from John Tyler Community College, it will soon be soon we renamed to Brightpoint Community College. And I transferred in the fall of 2019. So when you really think about it, I only had one normal semester at JMU. So far… in my trajectory here at JMU, which is kind of mind blowing. And to be quite honest, my first semester, I spent more time isolating myself than I think any of us have had to do during COVID. That was partly due to just not really finding my people right away, not feeling like I fit in. I mistakenly overdid it at orientation and signed up for four history classes thinking, “oh, I'm gonna need to take these at some point. So I might as well take them now.” Not listening to my advisor at all by telling me to try to do something else. And I was like, “no, it's fine. Like they're all in the same building, it's fine.” And he would think that it would hit me that that would be a lot when I left the bookstore with 14 books, not textbooks, but actual like book books that you read. No, it didn't hit me until the night before classes and all my professors are posting their syllabus, and I very quickly realized, “oh, I'm going to be writing like 5, 10, 15 page papers during finals week.” And no, no normal human being in undergrad, even in grad school can do that… while also try to be a functioning human being at the same time.

So called my parents in a panic of just like, I don't think I'm meant to be a history major, I don't think I'm meant to be a future teacher when that's really all I've ever wanted to do with my life. And my mom was just as well, even though you're done with general education classes, why don't do see if there's any S-Com classes, if there's any sociology classes. And sure enough, there was one spot left in sociology 110, which was sociology in a global context. And S-Com 248, which was intercultural communication. So I dropped through history classes, and took those. But it really wasn't until kind of utilizing resources that JMU had put to the counseling center as the Career Center. I was, it really kind of confirmed for me that okay, I do belong here. This is where I meant to be. But it was so hard, I didn't have the healthiest of living situations, because that made it really hard. So I'd, you know, go I believe my apartment being like, Okay, I'm pretty, I'm out of this apartment. But then when I'd be done with class, still, you know, trying to make friends trying to get involved, but not really finding people that I just totally clicked with. I will come back to the toxic environment and just kind of locked myself away and just really kind of spiral into an anxiety. Part of my life that I really kind of had never really experienced. I've always struggled with anxiety, but that was a whole nother level of struggling with anxiety while also living away from home and acclimating to a new environment altogether.

Dr. Tim Miller

So can you talk about lessons learned? Through all that or you know, at the end, I'm gonna ask you for advice for people that come after you but I want to sort of insert that here because I think I heard a lot of lessons learned in there, but can you share maybe some lessons learned about that sort of those numerous experiences that you just describes?

Jordan Nurney

Yeah, I think one of the main things was just trying to leaning, not just on other people, because I've always been aware that I have a great support system, but also learning to lean on myself, which was a huge learning challenge for me, because I particularly have never been one to like being alone. I've always been like, oh, well, I want to be around other people, because that is what will help me. And I remember there being one particular day where it was just, it was really hard. I just, I didn't know what I was doing. I just felt every possible negative emotion that you could feel. And I remember I was FaceTiming with my mom, and she looks at me from her phone to my phone, and was just like, I'm gonna stop you right there. Because you're being really mean to somebody that I care about. And I kind of was like, Well, who I was like, what, who are you talking about to you. And in I just broke down crying. And it just kind of hit me, I was like, how I treat myself has not only an impact, obviously, on myself, but it also has an impact on others. And it just really kind of made me realize like, Oh, how I treat me, is such an important component in this because, well, yes, you know, I'm going like I'm going to class. It wasn't affecting my academic standpoint. But it was, but it was affecting my mental state. And I think just because it wasn't affecting me academically and grade wise, and taking care of myself by getting meals and things like that. It was still affecting me mentally. And so having my mom kind of tells me that, really, it just made me realize like, Oh, that's not okay, and it wasn't. And then I went to the Career Center. Because as a result, I was just adding every kind of part of me. And I was fortunate enough that they paired me with Coleen Waller, who just really not only confirmed that I do belong at JMU, but he just reignited why I'm a transfer student, my pride in being a transfer student, and encouraged me to introduce myself to my professors tell them my story, which really helped. And so I feel like that also really helped me to feel more gain that confidence more because it was something that I had been proud of for a very long time. But when coming to JMU, because I hadn't really met so many people who wanted to talk about their experience or journey, it kind of filtered me to talk about it as well.

Dr. Tim Miller

So then, can we lean into the pandemic experience a little bit? I know, that's a theme for you. Can you just talk about, you know, again, you're sort of one quote unquote, normal semester. And which one you think that is, that'd be interesting to note, too.

Jordan Nurney

Yeah. 2019, I think is the most normal, but I think spring 2020, even though it was cut short, because of COVID. That was where I was really starting to find my people, I was fortunate enough to be in a class, where I was where the only people that were in it were future social studies and history speakers. And it was really great, because there were only like 14 or 15 of us. And 11 Out of the 15 of us were transfer students. So it was like, Oh, we get each other like we understand what everybody's going through. Because we've, we all started somewhere else. And it was just really cool. Because it was the first introduction for me of actually meeting people that I would later on be on this trajectory for a very long time and have classes with for the rest of my time while at Jameel and so, and while it was, you know, kind of crazy, that got cut short, I'm also, you know, it was a blessing in disguise, because I was able to get out of a toxic living situation sooner than expected, I was able to spend time with my family that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to get. But I also felt like I was able to learn more on how to advocate for myself in a non traditional environment by talking to professor's on Zoom, you know, I think we were used to how online classes work. By taking classes at my community college, I've kind of seen the full evolvement of how online classes have worked. I've seen where I'm lucky if I get an email back from a professor all the way from Oh, I actually get to see what my professor looks like on Zoom.

Dr. Tim Miller

Jordan at some level, I want to sort of do an aside here that I think it's, from my perspective, kind of extraordinary what you've been able to accomplish, despite sort of what I would say, have been some pretty significant hurdles. And I, I kind of just want to say that out loud for people to hear that on the on the podcast, and maybe family if they listened to so I just think that there's you know, there's a lot of really amazing things that you've been able to accomplish. And I appreciate that you have done so well here at JMU despite some of those challenges, and I guess I want to turn that into a question of, you know, what do you attribute that to like what does like obviously was challenging, it was hard, but what do you attribute the fact that you were able to still push through and be successful despite sort of the all the history classes and the pandemic and transferring in and then you know, Things You know, before you even made your connections, things sort of went a little wonky with the pandemic. And then roommate issues like, what do you attribute to that? That too? And when what would you tell other people about how to push through those types of situations,

Jordan Nurney

I mean, one person, finding just one person that can see you for all of you, and be there for all of that, whether that be through a text through a FaceTime call, in person, whatever, I think, for me that there was lots of many people that were like that for me during my time and still are. And I think also finding what was my why I have always kept in the back of my mind, even when I am struggling in school. My why is my future students. And so like, in like, same thing, when I was kind of going through that, trying to find a why. And I remember having one session at the counseling center, and being just really, really hard on myself that particular day, and not feeling like I was getting anywhere. I was like, I just feel stagnant. Even though I was making progress. I was making fine grades, and things like that. And I remember my counselor just looking at me being like, How'd you get here today? And I was like, I took the bus. And it's like, how are you getting home, it's like, taking the bus. And he's like, Okay, you found a way to get here and you're finding a way to get home. And to celebrate those small wins that are very oftentimes overlooked. Because it's just part of our daily routine, it's part of our habit is to vegetables. And I think it just allowed me to just celebrate those little moments, even if it's a habitual thing and finding those things that just keep me going. Even if even if the only thing that has been little are good that I made my bed in the morning, I'll take it. Because at the end of the day, you have to find something to keep you going, whether that be a person, or just some sort of moment, whether that be I showed up for all my classes today. And that's a win. Because in college, I think people can really, it's hard sometimes when you're having a rough day or a rough moment, to want to actually show up and be present when you don't feel like you can be present for yourself.

Dr. Tim Miller

So I love the sort of line of what your mom told you about being really mean to someone I love and care about. Are you sort of reference? Can you just talk a little bit more about that and give sort of that background a little more, I just I want to?

Jordan Nurney

Yeah, honestly, like, I don't even remember, like, all of what I was saying. I just, I can only imagine that because I can piece thinking about where I was at that point in my life. It was a part of my life where I don't recognize that person, not because it's, you know, something I don't wish to relive. I think it was just because I didn't know what I was fully capable of just yet. And I think for and so I can only imagine the things I was saying. And so for my mom to just, you know, I'm just rambling and rambling, keep going and going and for her to stop me and be like, you're being really mean to somebody I love and care about. And i i and you would have thought that like I was gonna like, I'm not talking about anybody else. But myself. I didn't think she was referring to me. I was like, What the heck is she talking about? Like, I'm not, you know, talking bad about anybody. I'm just talking about myself and what I'm going through didn't. And when. And then when she said it was me. It was kind of like those light bulb moments that people talk about? And I'm like, Oh, wow. Like, I never would have thought that that would have an impact on somebody else, let alone my own mother, who I adore and love with my entire being. But also knowing that I go to her for literally any and everything. I can imagine that it had an impact on her. And I think for me, it's like, I of course don't want it to have an impact on her, let alone do I want it to have an impact on me. So really has me kind of have that realization of like, I need to reframe how I talk to myself, not just when I'm with other people, but when I'm alone. Because when we're by ourselves, I think that's when we can do the most mental damage to ourselves is when we're because we're the most critical of ourselves. It's it happens. That's how life is.

Dr. Tim Miller

So, Jordan, there's so many nuggets, and I don't want to lose them. So I'm trying to go back through and hear all these. You know, you talked a lot about sort of being alone, but then not really being alone. You talked about you know, I want to hear you talk a little bit about who's been there for you. I know you reference Coleen Waller and Career Center as someone. So can we talk about this sort of feeling alone versus not really being alone versus who are the people that were there for you, you sort of referenced you know, all these people in your life, but can we go down that road a little bit?

Jordan Nurney

Yeah. I think for me, it was kind of coming to terms with while yes. You know, there might be times where I'm by myself But that doesn't equate to being alone. And, you know, I'm, and I remember, you know, my mom at one point even saying she was like, hang out with yourself. You're one of my favorite people to hang out with, I want you to hang out with you get to know who you are by yourself. And it was like, oh, like, like, I don't know how to do that, like that feels strange that feels weird. And I was right behind Purcell Park. And I just remember one day being like, okay, all my roommates are doing homework right now. I can't, you know, I couldn't go and ask them if they want to take a walk, I should do it. My mom says, hang out with me. So I grabbed my key, grabbed my water bottle, grabbed my phone was like, Okay, we're gonna do this, and I'm gonna walk one minute at a time. And if I feel uncomfortable, I can just turn around and walk up. And learning to be okay with just me time, which is a very, was, if you asked me a year and a half, two years ago about that, that would have been a very foreign concept to Jordan, that would have been very strange. But now I've learned that that is something that I value, and I treasure very much. Because I think it's very easy to get wrapped up in the motions of school, grad school, roommates, wife, just everything. And so to just have moments where I can just decompress, listen, the birds, watch the TV. So if I want to, or just close my eyes, there's something very meaningful that I never thought that I would actually enjoy. And one of

Dr. Tim Miller  

the things I know sort of in the prep for this, you talked about the impact of introducing yourself to professors and telling them your story. One of the things that I find all the time with our students is that they they sit in the back of the room, they come late, they leave early, they don't talk to faculty, can you talk about your relationship with faculty and how that either changed or became better or whatever, once you took the time to meet them and introduce them? To you? Yeah,

Jordan Nurney

honestly, it just, it not only I think lifted a weight off of my shoulders, because it's something that I very much valued at my community college, I worked at my community college, so I got to know people, not just professors that I have, I got to know other faculty and staff members through that. So I think being able to do that here, it was definitely nerve wracking and different because I was like, okay, you know, some professors or some professors might feel a little weirded out or intimidated by a professor or a student just coming in and be like, here's my story. There you go. But I'm really glad I did it. One of the ones that really sticks out, in my mind very clearly was calling in saying that I had Catherine Hopson for intercultural communications and telling me go introduce yourself to her, especially, he will be a great support system for you. And so I went thinking, okay, you know, I, this class is over 100 people, like, there's no way that like, he's gonna like, remember who I am after this meeting, there's no way and I went to her office hours, we talked, I don't like crying in front of people, I should preface with that. And I cried in her office. And we joke now, two and a half, three years later that her office is actually my favorite place to cry on campus, because they was meeting her I cry in our office. And to this day, he has been deemed one of the main people who has been a support for me during this my whole time at JMU, not just as a faculty member or former professor, but also as a friend. And there was one history professor that I also introduced myself to, and, and he and I will forever be grateful for that he and I have had later on where I got to see him for the first time since COVID, in fall 2021. And I remember him asking me, like, hey, you know, after you told me about your situation, being a transfer student, what are things that faculty and staff have done that helped have helped ease your transition, because after hearing your story, I want to learn how to be a better advocate for transfer students and to be asked that, knowing that there will be other students like me in those positions, really just meant so much to me, because it felt like, oh, like, my story does matter. I can make a difference by being a transfer student just by telling somebody, Hey, I'm a transfer student, because faculty and staff when they look out, they know they're transfer students in the mix. But it takes a student being the one to actually tell them that because not everybody's gonna want to talk about their transition, not everybody's gonna want to talk about it because for their own reasons, but to have people that want to know how they can be of best support is something that I don't think people really kind of realize that we we have a different trajectory than people who started here and affiliate Daniel.

Dr. Tim Miller

No, it's good. I mean, I think it's such a great Lesson because so few students ever take the time to meet them and know these are people sitting in their offices hoping they'll stop by. So, Jordan, let's come to the final sort of Jordan's advice for those that come behind her. The people that are coming behind you, or, you know, can learn from what you've experienced, learn from your struggles, learn from your successes. If you had to sort of wrap up your time at JMU, and 234, or five, whatever it is, words of wisdom nuggets, pearls, whatever you want to call them. Why don't you hit us with those

Jordan Nurney

things think just know that your journey is your journey alone, and no, one person's journey looks exactly the same. And that is okay. I, for me, I got very caught up in trying to compare myself to the academic standard, because when I came in, academically, I was a junior, I hadn't been admitted to the college of education hasn't even passed certain exams to get into the College of Education yet. So for me, it was very, very easy to just get wrapped up in comparing myself to that. But learning to just know that it would all happen in its own way. And that's okay. And it's hard in that moment, because you want to do what other people are doing, you feel like that's the normal thing. But at the end of the day, there is no normal. It's like, I tell people all the time, I hate the term traditional college student, because if you think about it, I'm 24, I'm gonna be 25. Technically, I'm not a traditional college student when you think about it, but you know what? I'm okay with that. Because why would I want to be traditional when I am far from the traditional person?

Dr. Tim Miller

So Jordan, when I think about your next step, I want to sort of end by you sharing? Where's Jordan going from here? And how do you think that your time here, Jamie has set you up for that success in that next stage in your future?

Jordan Nurney

Well, this time next year, I will be student tasting, which is kind of surreal to think that that will be my last semester at De Emile, next spring. But I hope that I'm somewhere teaching and then content and happy where I am. And I think it's my same you processes just really prepared me to know that everybody's gonna have a different circumstances gonna have a different story. And to know that I can be that voice and examples to my students as well by showing them that, hey, you don't have to go straight into college after high school, you can do the community college route. There are many other routes to take. I feel very fortunate because I think it's something that I hold quite a bit of pride in myself knowing that I have no shame in talking about that. I think you know it for a while. Yes, there might have been something behind it. But I think that was because I didn't feel like I was worthy enough to share that. But I also know too, that not everybody's going to hear it and but if they can find one thing that they can hold on to the MacBook matters.

Dr. Tim Miller

Great. Well, Jordan, I appreciate you making the time. I'm excited about having been a small part of your journey and watch you go through the JMU, the JMU Rhodes and all the different twists and turns. I want to thank you for being here and thank everyone for hearing your story. And we'll be back soon with the next rebound podcast. So Jordan, thanks again and we will talk to you soon.