Rebound: Caroline Dauchess

Dr. Tim Miller hosts another episode of the Rebound podcast with Caroline Dauchess, a Senior Political Science major who works with Dr. Miller's office. Caroline discusses her rebound from a college experience impacted by the COVID pandemic and a traumatic break-in to her apartment and room after she returned to campus from the pademic. 

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Transcript

Dr. Tim Miller: All right. Welcome back everyone to the latest Rebound podcast. We're excited to be here with our guest, Caroline, and we're gonna talk about her story, and so You'all can learn from her experiences. So Caroline, why don't we just start with please tell us a little bit about your. Your time at JMU. Just give us the broad intro first and we'll see where we go from there.

Caroline: My name is Caroline Duchess. I'm a senior political science major and I'm double minoring in Spanish and business Spanish. I also work here with Dr. miller, and I'm also co-president of Delta Phi Epsilon Organization.

Dr. Tim Miller: Okay. And then go back to, where did you come from? Where were you before this?

Caroline: Yeah, so I'm from Northern Virginia. I went to a really small high school, so, JMU was definitely a bigger transition than I expected. And yeah, that's about it for me.

Dr. Tim Miller: So I always dig down deeper. Where in Northern Virginia? What high school?

Caroline: Yes. I'm from Reston, so it's in Fairfax County and I went to Oakcrest High School. It's [00:01:00] a private all girls school, so very small.

Dr. Tim Miller: So then talk to us about the transition from that to JMU Maybe. Let's focus in on maybe your first, maybe summer. Yeah. Before you got here to first year. And let's talk through some of the transition.

Caroline: Yeah. So I really had no idea where I wanted to go to school. I came here the day before we had to make a decision and I just kind of saw the campus and I was like, sure. And then I went and I went to go cry cuz I was like, I just really hate change. But it definitely was a big transition. And my sister was here, so that was very helpful. But a lot of people from my school didn't come to JMU and I also only had female professors. So coming here my first semester, all my professors were male. So that was definitely a transition. But other than that, I mean I feel like I quickly, like mid-semester, I quickly was like finding my way and I'm developed a good routine.

Dr. Tim Miller: Okay. So somewhere in here is your rebound story. So do you wanna just dive right into it and share sort of what that Yeah, [00:02:00] sort of. Situation and reality is for you?

Caroline: Yeah, so my freshman year, we never came back from spring break. It was the Covid semester. That's when Covid really hit. So I mean, we were all at home like with our families and whatnot. So being away from school, it was much easier because you're with people. And then fast forward to sophomore year, we were finally able to come back to school and I was living off. And I was with a few roommates, but all my classes were online. So you like very much. Were still isolated and whatnot. But I ended up moving home because after Thanksgiving break I had some one break into my apartment and they actually broke into my personal bedroom and I ended up moving home because of that. But that was kind of, that was really challenging and it's very humbling experience because, your friends' lives move on. When you are, you move back home and then they're all here still, like not affected by anything. So that was kind of my story of like I, something very traumatic happened and then [00:03:00] I ended up moving home for the remainder of the year from November to May.

Dr. Tim Miller: Oh, so you stayed at home fall and the whole spring?

Caroline: Yes, yes. And I was very much alone. My, both my parents were working at the time, all my siblings were. So it was really just my, like my dog and I, and I did all my classes online, so it was a very isolating experience. And it was very different from Covid because my whole family was there. And like you had some like, sense of community and everyone was going through the same thing.

Dr. Tim Miller: So can we spend a little more time on this? So then talk about, uh, as much as you're comfortable, um, sort of the aftermath of the break-in and... How you sort of reconciled that and, and then what was it like going home and initially going home for the fall after Thanksgiving?

Caroline: Yeah. I had never been through something like that, and it was, it was a very traumatic experience, especially because the police officers that came were like, I have no idea how, you honestly are still here. It was... the person was really high on drugs and had a really massive weapon on [00:04:00] him. And so that, like, hearing that and then just kind of moving home, I was like, like what just happened? Like this was very crazy. And I think there's, there's like, when you go through something like that, you can process it and like grieve and whatnot, but move on. But when you do that, when you have like a sense of community, but going home, and being isolated, I just very much like sat in those emotions and like sat in that long period of just like processing when it happened, but also like doing it alone and not really having support. And I would say like I don't really talk with my family about my emotions a lot. Um, and I just really shove things down. So that was definitely very challenging time.

Dr. Tim Miller: And I know we had a lot of students... we had a lot of students who were here for the 10 days or so, went home and stayed home for the whole semester. But you had the 10 days. Did you live here? Did you stay here after the 10 days, like in town since you were living off campus your fall?

Caroline: I, yeah, I was here the [00:05:00] entire time.

Dr. Tim Miller: So then, well I want to get to some lessons learned or things that you figured out because, I can think about students I've met with from who were first year students that fall who are, some are still struggling to sort of find their community so. It sounds like you probably were having a pretty good first year and then come back. Spring. Spring semester things are probably doing pretty well. And then you never come back from spring break. And then you come back in the fall disrupted again where you went all online again. But you were here. That probably got started feeling a little normal cause you're here, even though online, and then this happens in Thanksgiving, and then you're gone and you don't come back. Can you talk about those disruptions. I don't wanna go to the spring yet. We'll do that separate. . Um, can you talk about those disruptions and sort of how you managed that, sort of, all those different, different multiple transitions?

Caroline: I think the first time one of my friends at the time just kinda knocked on the door and she was like, I pack an extra bag, like this covid thing seems to be coming to America. And [00:06:00] you know, I like packed a small bag, like not really expecting global pandemic. I think like everyone was just kind of figuring things out. So, um, like all the teachers were trying to figure out how to have a class on Zoom and so that like figuring that out, I feel like I quickly was able to just adapt to that. And you were asking about like in the fall as well.

Dr. Tim Miller: So then the fall was another transition where, we were all here and then half the people lived off campus. Left. . Most everybody who lived off campus stayed. So on campus, half left, but off campus. My understanding, my experience was almost everybody stayed. Because if you're gonna work from, you know, not be in class, you might as well stay in Harrisonburg. uh, I know some left, but a lot stayed. So I guess talk about the decision to stay here and versus going home at that point. Uh, and just what that transition was like for you going to online.

Caroline: Yeah. I think the main reason I stayed was cuz October of my freshman year and like I signed a lease and so I had this nine month lease and I was like, there was no one really [00:07:00] subletting, like no one looking to sublet. And I, I also was like, I felt like college is such a special time. And I was like, it's already my second year. And I just felt like it was really being like robbed from that experience. So I was like, I wanna live with roommates. Like experience all that. Like you could still walk on campus and still like have a sense of like being at school. So my roommates not like we were all good friends and like we all. Wanted that experience. So we very much like tried to like foster that as much as we could while being still like isolated in our homes.

Dr. Tim Miller: So let's fast forward to decisions and not come back for the spring here. . Um, talk through what went into that. What were the pros cons as you were thinking about coming back in the spring or not and then deciding to go online in the end? In the spring?

Caroline: Yeah. I moved home like the same day that everything really happened. and I didn't, I just, I could not go back to Harrisonburg at the time. I was dealing with a lot of like fear and anxiety in, you know, that [00:08:00] place like Harrisonburg since has always held like a lot of like, uh, not hatred, but like, it just really hurt. um, and like fear and whatnot. Um, but I was also having to deal with the, um, attorney and I was, ended up having to go. to trial and that I just, I wanted nothing to do with Harrisonburg at that point. And my family was like, my parents didn't want me to really go back either. So for me it was like not a question. Like I wasn't, there was really no pros and cons and I mean, my roommates all like mostly understood and one of my roommates had been there at the time and she also left and she ended up transferring out of JMU because that experience was very traumatizing for her as. So I would say there really wasn't a question of like whether I would come back or not. I just like, I was really struggling and I just needed to like be doing that at my house and not with people I met a year ago.

Dr. Tim Miller: Sure. So then let's fast forward again. Then you did come back. And talk about that decision. You [00:09:00] know, I assume you're living someplace, you were living someplace different.

Caroline: I was an RA.

Dr. Tim Miller: So talk about why come back in person. why not transfer like your other roommate? . Uh, help us think through sort of what that was like.

Caroline: I don't know if I ever like questioned if I would be coming back in for my junior year. It was more of just like, okay, where am I gonna live And like, what am I gonna do? And safety obviously like was elevated to the number one, um, like concern and priority in my life. And being an RA, I was like, I have to swipe in. Like there's some sense of like safety and security. And I think I was just ready at that point. Like I had gone like six months by myself, and then my fam like, so my siblings came home. Yeah. And I was like, I had missed, I had joined a, um, fraternity in my freshman year and I was like, I really have like, missed out on all of this friendships and whatnot. Um, so I think I was, it was more of like being antsy at home and I was like definitely ready to come back. But I think a mistake that I made was that I [00:10:00] didn't, like, I shoved everything down and I was like, no, I can make it. I'll be okay, but coming back as an RA, I didn't realize, like it sounds silly that you would, you would expect that you'd understand the responsibilities that you'd have, but I very much was like trying to, um, like it's hard to help someone with things that they're going through when you also haven't worked through it yourself. And unfortunately, like my year, I saw a lot of, um, really difficult situations and I was also like, that was my first time back in Harrisonburg after everything had happened and I later found out I was diagnosed with PTSD from everything and so I was like very much still struggling, but also like trying to help all these young freshmen figure out their way.

Dr. Tim Miller: Right. And where were you in RA ?

Caroline: At Dingledine . In the village.

Dr. Tim Miller: So, graduating.

Caroline: Yes. In like three or four months. Yeah.

Dr. Tim Miller: Yeah. Can you sort of sum up the JMU experience? Like what did, what did you learn from it? You know, you've been through some pretty challenging things. How do [00:11:00] you sort of, as a whole, your JMU experience, like is there a word or a phrase or sentences or something that you would want to use to sort of define or explain or encapsulate the JMU experience for you?

Caroline: I would say like, two things come to mind, but resilience and self-advocacy, I definitely think I was, I learned how to be resilient. Like I really never, like when I talk to people and I, um, they end up finding out like what happened. They would say, I never would've guessed. And I think I like very good at not letting my personal life kind of interfere with school or interfere with like, and whatnot. And I think everything that I've been through and even just everything with Covid, like moving home, really taught me how to be resilient. I think it, that was fostered in a lot of people in my year. Right. But I think self-advocacy too. I ended up, last year I was going to the counseling center because of like, ra, I was just really stressed. And what eventually happened was like everything that I had shoved down and like this experience that I had gone through, just came out with, [00:12:00] um, my counselor and, you know, I've seen her now a year and a half. Um, I was really bad at advocating for myself and like, not, like, it's okay to not be okay. And I, I've never understood that phrase more than I do sure now, but I think JMU is really good at having resources for students and, um, I don't know, I just, I never took advantage of them, but there's Kognito and whatnot, like, um, timely care and that was like, there's so many resources that, um, I, it was a matter of like me choosing them and. like this door opened of all the help and support that Jamie offers.

Dr. Tim Miller: Right. Okay. Yeah. So one of the things, Caroline, that we usually end with is advice that you might have for other people when they are coming here or might face adversity like you did. So I'm gonna stall a little get you cause you didn't know I was gonna ask that. But looking for, you know, any words of wisdom, advice, thoughts that you would want to share with folks before we wrap up. , you know [00:13:00] how you got through this, how you think people can handle adversity and so any thoughts on sort of final words you wanna leave with people, advice from your experience? Yeah, I would say like really focus on the community that you like put yourself in and the friends that you have.

Caroline: When I was going through all of that, like I was like, none of my friends reached out to people that I met that year. No one reached out to ask if I was okay and I was like, I would definitely want, I would do that for my friend if they had gone through this right. You know, I now live in the same apartment complex that it happened, and that's a whole story in itself. But, um, the roommates that I live with are the most understanding and they've really helped me walk through this whole transition back and transition to, um, like living off campus again. And I would say like JMU has really good quality friends and you just have to really. Like, look for those people. And, um, it's all about who you surround yourself with that can really make or break your college experience. And like, I'm in one of their weddings coming up and I don't [00:14:00] know, I just, I cannot stress that enough.

Dr. Tim Miller: Well then let me do a follow up on that. Yeah. How did you find them? Like how did this friend group sort of had a Yeah.

Caroline: Honestly, all my roommates were the, our whole apartment is RAs, like we were, we were all RAs last year. I'd say I was honestly just very like genuine and vulnerable with like who I was. And um, the very first day, one of, one of them got broken up with and she came to me and she's like, I don't really know you, but could I, like, could I have a hug? And I was really trying to be there for her even though I had never met this person in my life. Yeah. And then we just kind of like, would, we lived in the same hall, so we saw each other a lot, but I think it. friendship has two parts, like two sides, and you have to keep up one side, um, for them to keep up the other. And it's like, we got meals. We, we just did everything together and we talked about like obviously you get to know them and you don't talk about really deep stuff the first week. Sure. But it was like building that trust and like that relationship. And [00:15:00] now it's like they're my best friends. But I would say like you, it's not the case with a lot of RAs. You're not all going to be best friends, but that just is how I found mine. Right. So, Yeah.

Dr. Tim Miller: All right. Well, thanks Caroline for being with us. This is the Rebound podcast, Dr. Tim Miller. I hope everyone has a great day. Take care of yourselves. And Go Dukes!